Home of the K5 Blazer/Jimmy including GM Trucks and Suburbans.
|08-03-2009, 01:28 AM||#1|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Aptos ca
i Trader: (5 )
funny old timer sayings
so i work with this old guy and he says the funniest $hit sometimes. i figured we have guys from all over the US here so what may seem common sayings to you may be new to others. so if you know some one that says a saying you think is funny, post it up.
the one he said today
"its colder than a well diggers ass out here" old timer referenced above
"hotter than a popcorn fart" -my dad
"louder than a two Cunted Camel pissin on a flat rock" also my dad
obvious ones (to me)
"that really chapps my a$$"
.... im still thinking of more
|08-03-2009, 03:04 AM||2|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: florida and ohio
bat sh*t crazy
wound tighter than a 8 day clock
looks like a retard trying to kill bees with a hammer got ahold of it
nuttier than squirrel sh*t
tighter than a nun's c*nt
shes been hit in the face by the WTF truck
shes built like a burlap sack full of bottle caps
her face has been set on fire and put out with a wet axe (hammer, brick, pickaxe, claw hammer, etc....)
you cant spell slaughter without laughter
you cant rape the willing
dont measure with a micrometer and mark with a lazer something you plan to cut with a chainsaw
f*ck me to tears batman
Yes, but when it divides by zero and eats its f*cking self your going to be replacing more than a.......(whatever the part is)
crazier than a sh*t house rat
hotter than a mexican wh*re house in july
sweatin' like a wh*re in church
It's the one that says Bad motherf*ck*r on it
Out of here like a fat girl in dodge ball
Off like a prom dress
lets make like a tree and get the f*ck out of here
kiss a fat man's a*s
i gotta sh*t like a crippled coon
More f*cked up than a bag of clothes hangers
Looks like we've had a visit from the f*ck up fairy again
as worthless as t*ts on a boar hog
f*cked up worse than a soup sandwich
its not rape if you yell SURPRISE
crazier than a 6 p*ckered goat
i gotta p*ss like a 2 p*ckered billygoat
nitrous is like a hot girl with a STD, you wanna hit it but your afraid of the consequences
Hammer to fit, paint to match
Torch your way in, Weld your way out
Hung like a hampster and twice as fast
it's hotter than 2 rats f*ckin in a wool sock
Hung like a stud field mouse
hung like a stud gerbil
Hung like a field mouse in a bucket of ice water
|08-03-2009, 05:40 AM||3|
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Eastern NC
i Trader: (1 )
He could f#ck up a $hit sandwich
He can't tell the difference between $hit & shinola
(typical bar fight) Look at that, ones scared & the other one's glad
doesn't know the difference between his a$$ and a hole in the ground
what a bag of a$$holes
pretty girls f*ck too....
If I had a pu$$y I'd have a mattress on my back
cut it twice & it's still too short...
and, from my Bro Detroit Bob:
F*ck 'em, it's all about my c*ck!
|08-03-2009, 05:44 AM||4|
Join Date: Oct 2006
Along those lines
"That girl will put something on ya even AJAX won't take off"
"Ugly tree my a**, that girl ran through the ugly forest and never missed a branch"
"I may have a needle for a d**k, but I've got a sewing machine for an a**"
The project- 86 K5, full vert, 12v Cummins 4500/205 D60/14B, frame off rebuild http://www.coloradok5.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=252851
The wheeler- April 14 calendar truck - 86 K30 shortened, 454/400/205 52/64's 4.56 60/14 locked and welded, tube bed and other stuff build > http://coloradok5.com/forums/showthread.php?t=292854
The tow rig / DD - 2011 Ram 2500 CCLB 4x4 , 6.7l Cummins, 6spd...
The Beater- 01 VW Jetta 1.8t 5spd..low buck 30mpg city car
|08-03-2009, 06:10 AM||5|
Retired Navy NDT Examiner
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Harrison City, Pennsylvania
That is a bucket of Fu*k
Fu*ked up like a football bat
It's better to be pissed at and missed than Sh*t at and hit.
1991 V2500 'Burb 350/4L80E/241, 10B open/14SF Detroit Truetrac (4:10), 2 inch Rough Country lift, full factory skid plating, 265/75R16E BFG AT/KO's on Outlaw 2 wheels
A veteran - whether active duty, retired, or national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to The United States of America, for an amount of up to and including my life.
Always Remember, Operation Red Wings 06/28/2005
|08-03-2009, 06:30 AM||7|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Hotter than 2 cats ****ing in a wool sox
Colder that a well diggers ass in the Klondike
Dryer than a pop corn fart
Hub Cap Militia Founding Member
1979 k30, 454 226whp 298 wft/lbs sm465/205 60 lockrite/ detroit 14ff 4.10 39.5s 4" ord lift, 0 rates and some other junk.
1982 K30 6.2 155whp 355 wft/lbs,465,205 4.10s 60/70 DRW, hx35 forced induction.
|08-03-2009, 06:47 AM||8|
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Dallas Texas
i Trader: (2 )
when someone doesn't "get it ".....
Like a chicken watching a card trick.
Like a cow watching a passing train.
I've done more work this morning on accident than you'll do all day on purpose...
Cut it twice and it's still too short..
Your mother have any kids that lived ?
That's so ***ked up even God couldn't figure it out.
79 K5...454HO/T400/203-205/D60/14FF Truggy
|08-03-2009, 07:12 AM||9|
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Northeast Nevada
I am going out to raise hell and prop it up with a stick.
Colder than a witches tit.
Colder than a brass plated toilet on the shady side of an iceberg.
Its Clear as a bell and cold as hell
I am so horney, even the crack of dawn aint safe.
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